you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just found a bag of teeth...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
