I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
