I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Congratulations! We have a period
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