I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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