I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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