I understand Curling. That high.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
