I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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