is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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