Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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