Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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