Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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