I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
