I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
look no pants
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
