I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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