I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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