he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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