Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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