I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
