Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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