i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Watching her eat just hurts me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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