Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So squirting runs in the family.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
