I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
