I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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