better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Holy shit dude........stairs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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