we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
