let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
