honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
