I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize