In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
