no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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