Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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