On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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