I want to have your abortion
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
