a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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