Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize