Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
