I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
