You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
