Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
