just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
