there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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