i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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