I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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