Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
