In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize