If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
