so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
