I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I deserve this hangover.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
