Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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