I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
