Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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