So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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