is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
