I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
