Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
