i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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