I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she looked like the before picture.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
