so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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