were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
