from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
